Cats & Canaries
by Kala-Warrior18
Summary: I've decided to pull this one out of the closet. Please review if you believe I should continue it. There'll be about 5 to 7 chapters for you to read and think about it. I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! Rated M for sexual content and profanity
1. Profiles and Plans

Chapter 1: Profiles & Plans

Profile...after profile…after profile. Pein just about had it with Madara's (a.k.a. Tobi) research for new comrades for the Akatsuki. He had been searching all day for shinobis to live up to Madara's standards…and that can benefit towards their goal. Luckily, he had found two shinobis for both of them but he highly doubted they would join. Their names were…Tyomi…and Orihime, who both hailed from the…Kami Terratsu Village.

Kami Terratsu Village. The Devil's Domain. Now there was a village he had not heard in a long time and it deserved that title very well. Kami Terratsu was a very poor village and because of this, it gave out to war against their enemies for land and even amongst themselves for survival. At every corner you would see violence, crime, sin…things that almost had begun and became permanent in his village, The Hidden Rain Village, for if he had not became they're leader. The village's military was even worse; it was so low that they even began to send children on missions that weren't even classified as Genins. Moreover, most of their shinobis and villagers had gone hysterical from their own acts and the village's. Great, just what they needed…another Hidan. Nevertheless, it was Madara's orders.

Tyomi was a twenty-one-year-old kounochi, a Jonin and a Former Anbu Black Ops. Member of their village. She was assigned many A and B-class missions for her skills of the silent-kill and snatch-and-grab operations. She was the best of the best of their village. Many described her as a "black cat coming to deliver bad luck to their enemies," literally. Tyomi had a genetic resemblance of a black cat, much like Kisame had the resemblance to sharks. This genetic resemblance also gave her great flexibility, speed, and highly developed senses of the eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. She would have been considered a hero and would have been highly praised for her success in battle…if it weren't for her anti-social skills and aggression to everyone around her. She had an attitude problem, but when you got to know her she was a very caring and trustworthy friend…for how long it took to become her friend was the village's mystery. Because of her past from the village, she didn't believe in love or hope. And like other villages with their Jinchuriki Hosts, she was treated different for her strange disfigurement; but instead of falling as a victim to they're cruel words, she embraced being part cat and she actually made jokes about it. Her type of fighting skills is seduction for men and front attack for women. Sometimes she even seduced men for the fun of it besides just trying to kill them. She spoke her mind even when it was not needed and she only talked when spoken to. She was a leader.

Pein gave out a sigh. This one...Tyomi, was going to be difficult to keep control of. It was obvious she was her own person with her own set of rules and standards. This was why it would also be difficult to have Tyomi's partner to join the Akatsuki.

Orihime was a twenty-year-old kounochi, a Chunin, at most. Orihime was often sent on lower-class missions because of her lack in ninjustu and battle skills. But her abilities in genjutsu allowed her to go on higher missions, as long Tyomi was escorting her towards the mission's destination. She was a shinobi like everyone else but she was noticed as "the angel in disguise." She also, like her partner, Tyomi, and Akatsuki member, Kisame, had a genetic resemblance. She resembled a bird. And her genetic abilities were for one, flying, along with speed and highly senses of the ears, eyes, and sound. She was also recommended as a specialist in medical jutsu in her village. She was kind and patient to the wounded and those around her. Orihime mostly kept to herself for lack of confidence and never argued about the rules of the village or on a mission. She was obedient and loyal to her village. This made her a follower.

Pein sighed, again. This also meant she wouldn't join the Akatsuki unless Tyomi joined. The only two ways to get them to join was to go after them and force them to join or have something that would benefit them. Well, going after them was out of the question because the Akatsuki had already too many villages looking out for them and sending out shinobis after them. And giving them some sought of benefit was at lost because too many of the Akatsuki members now had benefits for themselves. He seriously doubted they would go for the Akatsuki's main goal for world peace. From the village they were from, they probably lost all hope for that. It seemed they were fine with just being nomads and stealing from every village they'd crossed. Moreover, killing or capturing wanted people for…bounty money.

Pein pondered for a moment before realizing that he had a man also in the Akatsuki, who collected bounty money for alive or dead corpses…along with his partner. Kakuzu and Hidan. Hidan was a new member to the Akatsuki and disliked bounty money, so he wouldn't know whom or where these women were, he was useless none than less. But Kakuzu would. These women kept to themselves in secrecy from other shinobis and spies but, with them collecting bounty money, there might have been a chance Kakuzu had seen them in one of the collection offices more than one time. Kakuzu was over nine decades old; he must have seen them somewhere or heard their names more than once. And with these women collecting money, he might be able to make an agreement with them. But first, he had to make sure his men and these shinobis meet at the same time and at the same place.

Just as Pein began to figure out a plan for their "meeting," Madara walked in, still impersonating as the annoying Akatsuki member, Tobi. "Hey, Leader-sama, we're back! What kind of mission do Mr. Zetsu and I get now? We finished the one of gathering information on our enemies." Now, when Madara said this, Pein knew he did more than gather information…he killed them, too. "Thank you, Tobi. But, you can drop the act now; everyone is still on their missions and won't come back until a few more days." Madara relaxed in one of the two seats in front of Pein's desk, slouching back and putting his hands behind his head. He tilted his to the side as if he were confused at what he said. "Act? What act, Leader-sama?" he said childishly. He was playing round with him, but Pein wasn't into games today after what he had to do for him all day. This was his organization and he knew what kind of shinobi he wanted but keeping-up with his identity as Tobi and keeping his real identity secret gave Madara not much time to do his own work. Unfinished work was passed onto him; considering he was the Akatsuki's (supposable) leader, as far as they knew. He had to stay busy also to keep up with his identity as Leader of the Akatsuki. But this didn't stop him giving Madara a serious glare of annoyance. Madara set his hands up in mock surrender and revert back to his original deep voice, "Pein, relax. I was only joking with you." Madara set his hands down to the chair's arms, as Pein began to lose his glare. "Now," Madara began, "about our new comrades; what have you found?"

Pein stayed silent and sat the only two profiles in front of him. Madara looked at them, just at the cover of the profiles; it was obvious he was not pleased with the fact that he had only found two people out of thousands of ninjas in the world to become members. "Is that all?" He questioned. Pein sighed, "Yes, it is. They were the only shinobis that could live up to your standards and regulations, and that could help reach our goal." Madara reached forward and grabbed the files, then setting back as began to read them. "Pein, you didn't have to follow all my standards on finding some men for my organization." Pein knew he meant that lightly, he would have cast out all the others he read as well. "You would have accepted no one less that couldn't reach your standards." Pein uttered plainly. Madara chuckled, closing the files and setting them back on the desk, "You know me too well. But I am pleased that you actually found two people…and I'm quite curious on how you plan on having these lovely ladies agreeing to join to us." Pein smirked; he had no idea of what is to come next. "Actually, I was just getting to that part…do you care to be of some service to it?"


	2. Better Days than This

**Chapter 2: Better Days than This**

This day just got better…and better. She had to wake-up way too early just because they had to hide their tracks; they had to run for hours just to make sure no shinobi were following them which made her miss breakfast and lunch, and she was still tried. This was the worst day of Tyomi's life. What made it worse was that Orihime was trying to make her better with words of confidence or giving out subjections on what they should do next. "You know the Rice Pattie Village isn't far from here. We can go there and rest to get our strength back up." Tyomi thought about the idea, and then she grabbed her stomach as it started growling from lack of food. "Man, even the name of the village is making me hungry. Fine, Orihime, how much longer till we get there?" Orihime immediately started getting their map out and began calculating there distance and travel time…until.

"Umm, yeah, about that." She said awkwardly. Tyomi stop in her tracks suddenly, causing Orihime, who was still looking at the map, to bump into her. Tyomi turned to her partner slowly, noticing that she was shaking like a leaf and excessively sweating.

"What?" Tyomi asked deadly.

Orihime stared to stutter uncontrollable. "Well, we-we might have m-m-missed that village at t-t-the last…turn. Umm, s-s-sorry." She turned her head away and closed her eyes instantly; holding the map up in front of face like it was going to protect her from Tyomi's killing rage. She waited and waited…but nothing came. No punch to the head, no yelling or shouting, no push to the ground…nothing. She hesitantly opened one of her eyes, lowering the map down slowly to see, in her surprise, that Tyomi was walking down the dirt road they were on. She opened her other eye and blinked them several times to make sure she wasn't daydreaming. But, no, she wasn't. Tyomi was actually walking away from her as if nothing happened, that she didn't screw-up their destination plan. It wasn't until later after her curious thoughts that she realized that she was being left behind. "Hey, wait up, Tyomi!" she yelled after her, running to catch up to her.

After she caught up with her, Orihime began to worry about Tyomi's strange behavior. "Hey, Tyomi, are you feeling okay." She said, walking beside her and placing her hand on Tyomi's forehead, in case she had a fever. Tyomi swatted her hand away in annoyance. "Yeah, I'm fine, Orihime." Orihime walked in front of her and stopped, making Tyomi stop as well; Orihime still didn't believe Tyomi's wellness. "Are you sure?" she said concerned. "Yes, I'm fine. Jeez, when did you become my mother?" Tyomi partially growled at her, pushing past her and continued walking. Seeing as how Tyomi was being persistent and annoyed with her concern of her well-being, Orihime figured she was fine and put her curiosity behind her. "Alright then." She said and began to follow her, again.

But just as she was within an inch of Tyomi, something grabbed her by the collar of her shirt with great speed and began shaking her back and forth victoriously. Orihime closed her eyes in fear of want was happening to her.

"Are you kidding me!" someone yelled. That someone was none other than…Tyomi. Orihime opened her eyes to see Tyomi practically red with anger. "I had to run for several hours and had to skip breakfast and lunch, because you heard something while being on night guard duty! And all you can say is "Alright then?" She finished at the top her lungs and ceasing from shaking Orihime.

"Sorry." Orihime barely whispered as she hanged limp in Tyomi's hands and the world dizzying before her eyes. "Arrgh!" Tyomi groaned, releasing Orihime from her hands like a ragdoll, "You're helpless." And began walking away from Orihime's body.

But she stopped instantly when she heard "And you're brainless."

"Run that by me again." Tyomi said turning her head with an eerily look and the ears on the top of her head pointing up and turning towards Orihime direction.

Orihime looked up at Tyomi with eyes now big as a cow's and an expression of pure fear. "Oh, d-d-did you hear something? I-I sure didn't, nope nothing." Putting on a nervous smile upon her face to cover up her insanely huge mistake.

"Run." Tyomi said darkly.

Orihime looked at her confused. "Wha-?"

"Run."

"Oh…" Then Orihime understood very clearly what Tyomi meant and dashed off back down the dirt road from where they came from, leaving a storm of dust behind her. It wasn't long before Tyomi was making the same cloud of dust behind her as she chased after Orihime and cursed out profanity to her.


	3. Replacement Problems

**Chapter 3: Replacement Problems**

Was Pein actually serious about having these two kounchis becoming an Akatsuki member? After only observing these girls for fifteen minutes, Deidara concluded that these girls were NOT Akatsuki material. They were acting like mere children. Among other things, they were like Kisame; they were freaks of nature. And he didn't want to hear another sob story about how the world treated them like animals (_well, if they haven't noticed yet, they were, partially, animals_), let alone two sob stories; especially, from two crazed women. He sighed in annoyance as he watched the women head in the other direction; which was not part of their plan of the Akatsuki's mission. "Tobi, change of plans," he began, looking beside him to see Tobi still watching the girls running away and he was chuckling. "Deidara-sempia, can you believe that Leader-sama actually wants those two idiots in the Akatsuki?" Although he was slightly mad that Tobi was not paying-attention to him, again, he smirked at his comment. "Well, he let you in didn't he, hmm?" he said standing from their post in a tree, high above the ground, and taking off after the kounchis.

Tobi, not even noticing that Deidara had left him or insulted him either, was still chuckling, re-enacting the scene the kounchis made earlier in his head. Then he realized what Deidara said about him and turned his head to defend himself from embarrassment. "Hey! That wasn't very nice, Deidara-!" He stopped in-mid sentence.

Where did he go? He looked up, down, left, right, behind him, and it wasn't until he looked ahead of himself that he saw Deidara and the two kounchis turning into specks in the distance…and he was left behind. He sprung immediately from his spot, trying to catch up with Deidara, "Hey, Deidara-sempia! Wait for me!" he called after him.

Deidara ignored Tobi's idiotic pled to slow down, not when there was an important mission as this one. Actually, on any mission they had together, Deidara almost, always left Tobi behind and tried to ignore him. It was quite embarrassing to have "him" on any mission that involved himself, too. Those days were the worst days of his life. He probably lost track of how many times he had tried to kill Tobi but no matter how many times he'd blow him up, he was still kicking and ready-to-go. Hopefully, when these two kounchis become Akatsuki members, he wouldn't have to deal with Tobi being his partner any longer. He smirked to himself. Now that he thought about it, that one girl with the cat ears was pretty good-looking. He wouldn't mind her being his partner a few times…might even be fun. As for the other girl…ehh, she was okay. She seemed too innocent for his taste. And hey, if they got along when she becomes an Akatsuki member, he might consider her as a sister most likely. One thing was for sure, both of them were really short; they barely came up to his shoulders. And they'd looked so young that he thought they were only young teenagers, not two young-adult women.

He chuckled a bit. It was funny. Before this mission began, he thought their new comrades were going to be some grumpy, old-bag ladies like Konan. Leader-sama never did give out the full information on these two kounchis, only that they were powerful and they were kounchis. He was stunned when he saw those two kounchis come up the road. Although their behaviors were strange, he was determined to not let an opportunity to get rid of Tobi as partner slip from his hands.

"So what are we going to do now, Deidara-sempia?"

Deidara looked back, seeing that Tobi finally caught up with him and was trailing behind him. He grinned sinisterly to Tobi.

""We" aren't doing anything. You are."

Tobi gulped at Deidara's smile, he knew he wasn't going to like this.


	4. Help, Its Tobi!

**Chapter 4: Help, Its Tobi! **

It seemed this would never end. She was losing her breath every second and her legs felt like they were burning and were going to buckle under her weight from tiredness. But she couldn't stop know because an overly pissed-off Tyomi was still chasing after her. "Oh, come on, Tyomi! I really didn't mean it! I'm sorry, okay?"

"Then why are you still running?" Tyomi yelled behind her.

"Because you're going to kill me!" she yelled back.

"Your damn right I am! Now stop running away from me."

What? Was she crazy…well, actually, she was but NO WAY was she was going to stop for a psychopathic-maniac like her so she can be killed! "No!" Orihime screamed.

"Orihime!" Tyomi she screamed threatening.

"No!"

"ORIHIME!"

"NO-" She was screaming but stopped when a kunai went past her, almost scratching the tip of her nose, and went straight into a tree. Both Tyomi and Orihime skidded to stop, looking at their surroundings cautiously.

"Orihime, back-to-back!" Tyomi demanded silently. Orihime complied and both of their backs stuck together immediately, each of them holding a kunai in one of their hands and watching their surroundings.

"Damnit, they caught up with us." Tyomi furiously whispered. She looked over to shoulder to see Orihime. "When I say "now," you start your sound hypnosis, got it?"

Orihime nodded. "Affirmative."

~Akatsuki~

"Deidara you almost hit her!" Tobi whispered to his partner beside him. Deidara just shrugged his shoulders as he watched the girls below go back-to-back with each other. Who cares, at least it got them to stop running; and he wasn't going to hit her, his archery and accusations were far more superior to Tobi's own intellect.

Now Tobi and he were perched high up in another tree in front of the girls. Luckily he caught up to them and had gained the lead ahead of the girl called "Orihime" for a millisecond and threw a kunai in her path. He had to admit, the girl was pretty fast and the other girl…"Tyomi."

"_Tyomi, "Gem of the Underworld_,"_ not bad, hmm. It has a nice ring to it." _Deidara thought dreamily, his eyes going half masked. Deidara shook his head to get rid of the thought before it progressed any further.

Now Tyomi…well, in Deidara's opinion, she was pretty scary when she was mad. _"Note to self: don't make Tyomi mad when she becomes an Akatsuki member, hmm."_

It was strange, to Deidara, on how the girls were acting and looked now. They actually looked liked shinobis…well, almost. Deidara still had his doubts.

"What do we do now, sempia?" Tobi asked curiously, still watching the girls.

Deidara stood up from his spot, looking down at Tobi and smirking mischievously. "Hey, Tobi…"

Tobi looked up as fist came colliding down with to side of his mask. "Think fast," Deidara finished, watching Tobi fall out the tree.

"_Now…let the real fun begin!" _Deidara thought evilly while grinning to himself.

~Tyomi & Orihime~

BAMM! Both girls looked in the direction of the groundbreaking hole, waiting for the dust storm to disappear and reveal their newfound enemy. The dust and dirt dispersed showing a dark, spike-headed figure with an orange and black swirling mask upon his face and wearing a black cloak with red cloud pattern on his hand and knees, rubbing the back of his head with his other gloved hand.

"Ouch! That really hurt," Tobi looked up, noticing the girls in front of him. He gave them a simple wave, "Hello, ladies," he said nervously and kindly. But after just saying those two words, a kunai came straight towards his head. He yelped and ducked, the kunai missing him by a centimeter and then lodging itself in a tree behind him. Tobi came back up from his crouched position, waving his hands around hysterically to get the girls attention in cowardly surrender. "Wait, wait, wait! Tobi don't mean you any harm!"

"Like hell you were!" Tyomi yelled, who threw the kunai at Tobi. "You threw that kunai at us!"

Tobi gulped in fear and confusion. How was he going to explain this one without getting Deidara or the Akatsuki members mad at him if he screwed-up on this mission? Oh well, guess he'll just go with what comes natural to him. Tobi stood up confidently from his spot, acting courageous and brave in front of the girls. He was going to intimidate them like Deidara-sempia and the others would do…or at least try to.

"Ha, you're right! I did through that kunai at you because you were on Tobi's territory! Nobody trespasses Tobi's land and gets away with it!" Tobi shouted triumphantly.

Awkward silence.

"_What is he? High?_" Tyomi thought strangely.

~Deidara~

He slapped his forehead in frustration. This was why he NEEDED to get rid of Tobi as his partner and have one of these girls in his place. He had to put up with his ignorance for far too long. And if Tobi screwed this one mission up like he was about to, he was going to kill him_…. permanently!_

~Tobi~

"_So far so good. Now I just have to get them to think I'm worth a lot of bounty money."_ Tobi thought to himself. He pointed to the girls threateningly. "Now prepare to meet your doom! For no one has ever defeated or captured The Great Tobi-!"

THEY WERE WALKING AWAY FROM HIM!

"Hey! Didn't you hear me?" Tobi yelled after them, watching as they turned around and walked down the path they came from. "HEY!"

~Tyomi & Orihime~

"Some "Great Tobi" he was, huh Tyomi? More like the "Great Clown."" Orihime giggled.

"Like yeah." Tyomi agreed, listening to the idiot behind continuing to ramble on and on about his threat. "Just ignore him and he'll go away." Tyomi through one of her fist into the air, " Now let's go get something to eat!"

~Tobi~

"_Oh no! Now what do I do? Deidara-sempia is going to kill me if I don't do something!" _Tobi panicked to himself.

"Tobi."

Tobi cringed at the stern voice. _"Oh no, too late! He's mad at me!" _Tobi thought.

"Ha-ha," Tobi laughed nervously, "yes, Deidara-sempia?"

"Don't just stand there…GO AFTER THEM!" Deidara yelled, sending a clay explosive at him and letting it explode. Tobi screamed, as he was sent flying into the air…towards the girls.


	5. Feather Issues

**Chapter 5: Feather Issues**

"Didn't you here that, Tyomi?" Orihime asked, stopping to look back down the road to where they left that weirdo. Tyomi, who continued walking, answered back, "Yeah, I guess that guy had a conniption when we ignored him and stuff. Oh well, not problem."

Orihime looked at her, concern in her eyes, "But it sounded like he blew himself up…or somebody else did. Shouldn't we check on him to see if he's hurt or needs help?"

"Please, after that stunt he pulled earlier, I'm not going anywhere near his crazy ass!" Tyomi said, almost yelled in anger. "And if you would listen to me, you wouldn't go near him either."

Orihime turned around, ignoring her last comment like she didn't hear it or cared. "Well, I'm going."

But just as she turned around something came colliding into her, making her scream, spread her wings out in panic and surprise, and knocking her and the object to the ground. Tyomi turned around to see that it was that guy, again, on top of Orihime.

"_Hmm, an interesting position she's gotten herself into. I never knew she had it in her." _Tyomi thought snickering at them both. She put her hands behind her head and giving Orihime a shit-eating grin. "See, this is what happens when you don't listen to me. Then again…this could be a good thing for you, Orihime; you finally got "laid."

"Shut up!" Orihime mumbled under the guy's clothing and weight.

Tobi held himself up by his hands but not fully getting off the girl from under; after all, it was still Madara under the Tobi disguise and he hadn't been this close to a woman in awhile…a long while. "Tobi, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…" He said apologetically and nervously, and still continued to apologize.

Orihime, getting annoyed by his apologizes and frustrated that Tyomi was right about something, pushed him off of her, then suddenly screaming in pain.

Both Tyomi and Tobi looked at her like she was crazy. Until Tyomi noticed what the idiot had in hands after being pushed off of Orihime, then she began to chuckle evilly and waited for the slaughter to begin.

Orihime sat up and stared at Tobi in front of her. "YOU…" she said darkly.

Tobi gulped and was scared stiff. He had already seen Tyomi get mad but…what would happen if Orihime got mad?

"You…pulled…out…some…of…my…feathers!" Orihime said, standing up and staring down at Tobi with flames in her eyes.

Tobi, who was confused at her statement, reluctantly moved his fists from the ground behind him and opened his fists up in front of him to see the horror of the truth. There in his hands were a few tuffs of delicate white feathers. He looked back up at Orihime, quickly hiding his hands behind his back, innocently and hoping she show some ounce of kindness.

Orihime, blind with rage, pulled out a scroll from her bag and opened in it front of her in-mid air; she was going to summon one of her most powerful weapons to get the job done. Smoke developed around her; anticipation and curiosity hung in both Tyomi and Tobi mind, as the smoked begin to quickly disappear just as it appeared before. Orihime stood there menacingly with a really big ax; it was about twice her size, and then swung it towards Tobi's head. Tobi yelped, ducked his head from the ax, got up, and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the collection office (the Akatsuki trap), with Orihime running closely behind him.

Tyomi stood still, watching as dust storms formed behind the two shinobis ahead of her. She rubbed her eyes away from dust debris and the fake tears forming from them. "That's my girl," she said, as she began to follow the two at her own, calm pace, knowing already of the outcomes of the fight.


	6. Lookout of Insanity

**Chapter 6: Lookout of Insanity**

To the east…nothing, to the west…nothing, south- same, and so was the north. Hidan held down the binoculars from his face. He was pissed off and his impatience was wearing thin on this whole damn mission. Of course, leave it to Tobi to be the target on this mission.

"_He probably screwed up this mission already_," Hidan thought bitterly. "_Now if it were me, I'd have those women here no problem_." "Damn, what's taking those mother-fuckers so long?" He shouted impatiently.

Kisame, who was on the roof of the collection office with Hidan as well, was sitting against the wall of the doorway leading to downstairs. "Who knows." He stated boringly. He, too, was growing impatient of Tobi's lack of timing.

Hidan turned from his post towards Kisame, leaning against the railing of the building. He was getting tired of being lookout for Tobi and the two women. He wanted action, violence, and blood; that was his only reason for being in the Akatsuki. Leader-sama said there would be much of all those things.

"Bullshit." Hidan muttered to himself. Kisame must have obliviously heard him as he looked up from the ground and was staring at him. "What?" Kisame asked. "Nothing." Hidan said quickly, who didn't notice till now that he was speaking out loud. Kisame accepted his words and just went back to looking at the ground broadly.

Hidan turned back to his post, thinking of what he was going to do after this mission. No doubt that Leader-sama was going to send him and Kakazu on another mission as soon as possible, unless he was going to send him with one of the new comrades.

Hmm, now that thought about it, he didn't even think about him getting a mission with one of the new girls…actually, he didn't think about the girls at all. But now, several questions were foaming into his head, like what they look liked (in other words, if they were hot) or how they got a chance to become an Akatsuki member.

He looked over his shoulder to see Kisame…"_He's Itachi's partner and Itachi is close with the Leader because of his skills. And as far as I know, he and Itachi are all gay-ass buddy-buddy. Perhaps he knows a few things about the girls._" Hidan pondered to himself.

He turned back to Kisame, curiosity and sneakiness in his eyes. "Hey, Kisame?" he said, waiting for Kisame look up at him to continue his question, "Do you know what these girls are ranked as or what they look like?"

Kisame thought about his question for a bit, folding his arms in front of him. On the outside, he was being serious and thoughtful about his question; but on the inside, he was smirking to himself. "_Hidan thinks I don't know what he's trying to do but it's obvious that he thinks I'll tell him everything about the girls," _he thought and chuckled inside his head. "_Joke's on him then. I know nothing about them either…but it doesn't it mean I can't have a little fun." _He chuckled darkly in his head, again.

"Well, supposedly and as far as I know is that they are strong crazed ruthless hot women." Kisame said flatly. In his mind, Kisame was smirking and chuckling evilly to himself. "_There, that should give him something to look forward to…but in the end, he will be sorely disappointed_."

Hidan just grunted and turned back to his post. Kisame didn't think much about his reaction to the information and went back to looking at the ground. Hidan, who was pretending not to care about Kisame's news, was smirking to himself in anticipation. Two girls that were just like him (minus that they didn't worship Jashin), what were the odds of that? With something to look forward to, Hidan put the binoculars back up to his face.

Behind him, Kisame was grinning evilly. "_What a sucker_," he thought to himself; he noticed Hidan using the binoculars again from the corner of his eye and he was glad he caught the movement, too. If Hidan wasn't in front of him, he would pat himself on his back for his ingenious trick. "_You could tell him that the sky was falling and he would believe you_."

"_Let's see now_," Hidan thought to himself as he was looking out for Tobi and the girls, again, "_To the east…nothing—damn, to the west…nothing—shit, south- same—fuckin hell, and the north…"_

Just as he was going to curse, again, he caught a glimpse of a dust storm heading their way. He focused the binoculars closer on it…and what he saw…amazed him. He chuckled a bit at the scene.

"Hey Kisame, take a look at this." Hidan said, throwing the binoculars over his shoulder. Kisame was off guard at the moment and had clumsily caught the binoculars in his hands, and then glaring at Hidan's backside for his action of surprise. He sighed as he got up, walking over to the railing where Hidan was leaning against it and was smirking to himself. "Okay, what am I looking at that was so important that you through these," indicating to the binoculars in his hands, "at me?" Kisame asked. Hidan pointed north, towards the opened land in front of him, "Look north seven miles from here, on the dirt path leading here." Hidan stated.

Kisame grumbled as he put the binoculars up to his eyes and directed them towards Hidan's directions. First, he saw two dust storms and then, after scoping the binoculars in closer, he saw two dark figures running and making the dust clouds behinds them. Again, scoping the binoculars in on the figures…and Lord and behold, there was Tobi running for his dear life from a girl swinging a big ax at him from behind.

What shock Kisame the most was that the crazed and raging girl behind Tobi was, actually, really hot. Kisame placed the binoculars down in front of him, still staring at the figures heading their way; dumbstruck was his only expression on his face.

Hidan turned his head towards Kisame and chuckled at the face Kisame was making (_not that his face wasn't funny all the time because it was_). "Take a good look at that, Kisame, because she's on "my" team."

Kisame looked at him in disbelief, almost surprised. "Yeah…right," he said, expressing the last word in disapproval as he looked backed at the two figures heading their way, almost two miles-off now. He crossed his arms on top of the railing in front of him, "The day Leader-sama assigns someone like "her" on your team will be the day Kakazu dies…if he dies, that is." Kisame chuckled at his last comment, knowing that Kakazu would never die because he had the ability to replace an old or destroyed hearts with a new one ;and considering Kakazu had three hearts, Kisame doubted he was "going" anytime soon.

Hidan was pissed-off at Kisame. Yeah, he tried to lie earlier about the girl being on his team but it was just for sport and to see what Kisame's reaction would be. He never thought Kisame would turn his words around and use it as an insult…or a reminder that his stupid-ass partner was immortal like him and could never die; or at least, Kakazu was _partially_ immortal. He chuckled a bit at his last thought, which caused Kisame to look at him strangely. "You know that _funeral can be arranged_." He said darkly, bring out his scythe from behind his back and gazing at it admirably but menacingly, also.

Kisame just shook his head in disbelief and thought ignorant Hidan was with being so full-of-himself. "Come on, let's tell the others that part of the mission was a success." He said, putting the binoculars in his pocket and beginning to walk towards the door of the roof.

From behind, Hidan was turned partially towards Kisame with one hand still on the railing. He didn't want to go back down there to all those ass-holes, he wanted to stay up here and watch the girl mangle-up Tobi to shreds. And he thought Kisame wanted to, too. "You don't want to watch Tobi get ripped to shreds?" Hidan said as he watched Kisame stop to stare back at him. "Come on, it be funny as hell!" He said getting excited from thought of shed.

Kisame turned back and began walking towards the door, again. "No, unlike you and some of the members in this organization, I actually get along quite well with Tobi."

Hidan grunted and turned back towards the railing. "Whatever you pansy-ass, I'm staying up here."

"_No, you're not_."

Hidan turned backed sharply towards the door, to see Kisame holding the door open, with a shit-eating grin on his shark-ass face, for none other his shit-ass immortal partner, Kakazu.

"Leader-sama wants both you back down there, so we can greet our guests who will be arriving any minute now. So get moving; time is money." Kakazu said gruffly with authority, turning around and going back down the stairs with Kisame in tow.

"Ah, Fuck!" Hidan shouted in annoyance, walking from the railing towards the door. "_Leave it to that shit-head to ruin my fun_." He thought angrily as he slammed the door behind him.


	7. Strange Unknowing Lust

**Chapter 7: Strange Unknowing Lust **

"Man, this is good!" Tyomi said as she stuffed her mouth with another hand-full of rice cake dumplings, her tail swishing back and forth behind her happily, and continued walking to where ever Orihime and that one crazy dude went off to. Luckily for her, that on the way there was a dango and dumpling shop because she was starving! "_I thought I'd never to get to eat with Orihime's poor sense of direction. I can't believe we missed that last turn; it's so unlike her to miss something like that. Oh well!_" Tyomi thought to herself happily and stuffed her face again. A little while later, Tyomi was laughing out loud to herself, replaying the scene of the guy falling on top of Orihime, how he pulled out her feathers, Orihime losing her temper and then, he was running for his life with Orihime swinging her ax at him from behind. "Man, that was hilarious!" she said to herself, rubbing her tears away from when she was laughing so hard. Then she began to think of what Orihime was doing to the poor guy now. She imagined him chopped up into little pieces and blood exploded everywhere. She chuckled darkly at the mid-evil thought. "_Yes, body parts everywhere, as well as blood, and there's Orihime in the mitts of it all._"She thought evilly.

Just as she was going to stuff her face again with rice cake dumplings, she stopped when she noticed there was only one left. She stared at the dumpling intensely…thinking.

"Let's see," she thought out loud," If I eat this dumpling there won't be any left for Orihime and I'll need it as an excuse of why I was late getting there and it'll make a good apology. And it's a treat for killing that weirdo!" she said happily at her brilliant plan and at her own cleverness of it. Taking the last dumpling out of the bag, she put it in her pouch strapped across her hip filled with kunais and other small sharp weapons; she then crumpled and discarded the bag into some nearby bushes. Next she then got into a running position towards the ground. "_I'll get there in under ten seconds!" _she thought confidently.

"Ready..."

"Set…"

"Oh, a turtle!"

A small green turtle, a few inches away from Tyomi, was in the middle of the road. Tyomi quickly stood up and began skipping merrily to the turtle, humming and singing out loud.

"Turtle, Turtle, I found a Turtle, La-La-La-La."

The turtle stared at her strangely and was excessively sweating as the crazed girl came closer to it.

Tyomi stopped in front of the turtle and picked it up in her hands. They both stared at each other; the turtle, staring at her like she was insane and Tyomi was staring at it with excitement and admiring it. "Hello there, Mr. Turtle. You want to become my new best friend…well, behind Orihime, of course. I promise I've only lost about two cats and three dogs but it's their lost, they won't get my love anymore. Now, you do, Mr. Turtle!" she said in sweet innocence voice.

The turtle squeaked at her words and hid in its shell. Tyomi just stared at it a few seconds…

"I take that as a YES!" she yelled and punched her fist in the air in triumph. She then put the turtle in her pouch along with the dumpling. "Don't you eat that Mr. Turtle, that's for Orihime." She said as she closed her pouch. She began to walk again but stopped suddenly…thinking.

"Now, what was I doing again?" she said looking down at the ground, trying to remember. She then snaps her fingers as the memory came back to her. "Oh, yeah, I have to get to Orihime!"

She crouched down, yet again, in the running position.

"Ready..."

"Set…"

"GOOOOO-!" she yelled at last, pronouncing the word as she took off in a speed unbelievably imaginable.

~Akatsuki "Deidara"~

Now he seriously couldn't believe that Leader-sama had actually picked these two to join the ranks of the Akatsuki organization. He had thought Tyomi was going to start running again and he would have to go into over-drive to catch up with her, in order to keep an eye on her. It was ordered by Leader-sama that if the two kounchis had split up during the mission that one Akatsuki member was selected one girl to watch and make sure they got to the destination…or drag them there by force. But she had stopped…for a turtle!

He just about blown his cover by either running ahead of her and getting caught in plain sight or fall out of the tree he was perched on a few yards off from her because of her stupidity. He almost did both but had caught himself in the nick of time.

Now, he just stood there in the tree as he watched Tyomi skip over to the turtle. He didn't think she was actually the skipping or girly type to stop to pick up an animal but, that was just coming from seeing her outfit she was wearing. "_Don't judge a book by its cover_," he thought to himself.

"Turtle, Turtle, I found a Turtle, La-La-La-La."

He chuckled at her strange tune…it was actually, kind of cute and funny. He shook his head to get rid of his annoying thoughts, again, and looked down at the branch he was on, gripping the tree's bark and leaving nail marks on it. That had been the third or fourth time that he was thinking adoring or romantic things about this…girl. "_Control yourself, Deidara! You can't be crushing on the new girl like some lovesick school-boy!_" he scolds himself angrily in his head.

It was then that from the corner of his eye, he saw Tyomi bend over to pick up the turtle. He swallowed deeply, as if something had been caught in his throat, making it dry, and could feel his face heating up a little. He looked away, again, closing his eyes. He was trying to think about anything else except for Tyomi's sexy posture and her derriere. "_Come on, think of something else but, anything but that! Tobi's obnoxious behavior, Sasori's ridiculous notion of art is eternal, Kisame's hideous face!" _Deidara groaned internally, turning away from his target and leaning against the tree, looking up at the top of the tree and branches and the sky, as his efforts were in vain and he felt himself grow hard in the confines of his pants.

"Damn, un" he cursed himself under his breath, now oblivious of his surroundings. To get it a boner on a mission that was still unfinished and over a girl he barely even knew and was soon to be his comrade...how disgraceful. There was only one good thing about it; nobody was around to see this. If anybody in the Akatsuki were to see him in this state, he would die of embarrassment and he would never here the end of it, especially from Hidan. Trying to look on the bright side of things and waiting for his boner to subside, Deidara started wondering what the other guys would be doing if they were in his predicament. That mere thought brought a major wave of rage over him. To imagine any of the Akatsuki members looking at Tyomi in her earlier position or just plain looking at her for that matter made Deidara want to kill them all.

Deidara grinded his teeth together in anger and griped the tree harshly, leaving more nail marks on the abused tree. "_If anyone were to look at her, I swear I'll-_"Deidara's eyes widen in shock and he immediately stopped at his violent train of thought before it gone any further. He couldn't believe what he was thinking! It was almost as if he was acting like he was her boyfriend!

"No, no, no, urgh!" he whispered to himself shaking his head from side to side and trying to deny what he was about to do earlier. Trying to calm himself, Deidara did some quiet, deep breathing and bringing his head down to his hand to massage his forehead before he did something rash like blow up this entire forest. Thinking things through about his weird behavior, he came up with only one conclusion.

Looking forward and bringing his hand down to his eyes, which were set in with assertion, he stared beyond his fingers to look at his surroundings once more. "_It's lust. That's all it is. Just lust. I've been on too many missions and around the other members for far too long, its creating all of kinds stress in a desirable way. Yeah, that's it. It's messing up my hormones or something. After this mission, I'm taking some time-off to take care of this._"He thought seriously and gesturing to his still hard-on cock.

"Oh, yeah, I have to get to Orihime!"

Deidara slightly turned back towards his main target, Tyomi, seeing her in a ready-running stance, again.

"Ready..."

"Set…"

"GOOOOO-!" she yelled at last, pronouncing the word as she took off in a speed unbelievably imaginable.

"_Finally, hmm!_" Deidara thought in relief as he got ready to follow her…although, it would be quite painful; again, gesturing towards to his still hard-on cock.

Instantly, the tree that once unwillingly allowed the youngest S-rank criminal Akatsuki member to hide and rest on its branches was empty and left at peace.


End file.
